I think I have a style!?

Like many other artists I have been on the search for that thing that is “my style” since the beginning of my career. At times I would imitate marks and elements from other people whose work I love or set very rigid rules for how I would draw eyes or hair or trees. That usually resulted in less fun and me avoiding to create all together. I was very impatient and would not allow myself to just follow the things that interest me or that spark inspiration, because I wanted my work to like so and so’s. I thought that I could not be successful following my own interests.

It was not until I let myself just like or dislike certain aspects of creation and adjusted the way I worked accordingly. An example of this is perspective. I am not very interested in figuring out the perspective of a certain scene and I also don’t feel like having it set up correctly does anything for what I want to convey or say. Rather than that I love to subdue the shapes and colors of the drawing or painting to a pleasing composition and play with it. Now, you might also feel that realism is especially desirable to achieve in your work. I certainly did and I think a part of me just wanted to impress other people. But I had no fun whatsoever to work in that way. I denied the parts of my creative process that were the most playful and fulfilling for me.

Another example is that I love to doodle around and I had to realize that I needed the way that I work to reflect that as well. It took quite a while to accept that my way might be different, but that it a) kept me creating and enjoying it and b) makes my work unique.

One of the most helpful things on my way to discovering my own style, was keeping a messy sketchbook. One that you not necessarily want to show to anybody and that you are willing to fuck up in. A lot. I think it is crucial that we have a space where we can explore what we love, what interests us, regardless of the result. I found it difficult to allow myself this play because if I would not create a result to present it felt like a waste of time for me. Probably an issue enhanced by social media nowadays. But how would I expand my boundaries and find what’s true to me if I play safe all the time? I found that there is nothing that gives you a clearer image of your work, your style, your voice than flipping through an old messy sketchbook. You will find patterns of things that come up over and over again, subjects, marks, maybe words. I felt like I could finally grasp something that is descriptive of what I do.

There was also this phase, many times actually, where I would detest especially those features that made my work mine. And I would try to run away from them, because for some reason I found them boring. They were a sign of my failure to imitate that other style that I wanted to achieve. Of course, because it was my uniqueness shining through. The one that I did not believe had anything to offer or could be interesting to anyone and that apparently I wasn’t trying hard enough to get rid of. This is almost funny to think about in hindsight. I definitely tried to control what my style is ignoring that it is a mix of the many things that interest me or that I find pleasing.

I found that it is true what I have heard other people say before, that your style finds you and not the other way around. All these imitations, trials and errors seem to be just part of the discovery. Some things will find their way back over and over and you become more sensitive to why they show up and maybe more brave and creative to make use of them and play. At least this is what I found.

These podcasts episodes ([1] & [2]) by illustrator Lisa Congdon present a very helpful approach to the topic of artistic voice. In them the art style is described as only one part of the bigger concept of “your voice” as an artist. What I have talked about above is more general about what Lisa calls the artistic voice, I think. But check it out for yourself, I found it a very good listen!